Just like I was never gone

Last week I had the opportunity to get together with my three best friends from high school. We laughed so hard we cried, we feared for our lives in Megan's jeep, and we tried hard to put Kate into labor to no avail. But the best part about it was it was like time hadn't passed. I certainly made a lot of stupid decisions in middle school and high school, but somehow I chose these ladies and we chose to stick it through even when it got hard, and now here we are, 15 years of friendship under our belts- and it's amazing. Can't wait to see where we are 15 more years from now!

And it was these girls that convinced me to take up blogging again so they could better keep track of my crazy life and keep being encouraged by my thoughts and feelings and random parenting tips and ideas. We'll see how well I do.

15 months and 3 years old

Ian turned 3 in May and has become such a tenderhearted, contemplative, and silly young fellow. He is still very curious AND his memory is awesome. He still seems to be way ahead of his peers in some areas, but we've also noticed there are some areas we can definitely be working with him on (like he's been potty trained for a year and a half but still can't pull his own pants back up).

His current favorites include:

-playing with Thomas trains 

-playing in his new playhouse

-his friends Noelle, Sammy, Myles

-reading next to Mommy in his twin bed

-all the Pixar movies 

One thing that has popped up has been his diagnosis of Complex Motor Stereotypy.  A stereotypy is defined as a repetitive or ritualistic movement, posture, or utterance. Ian has a movement and sound combo that usually looks like he's walking in circles while pressing his hands into his cheeks and making a high pitched sound that increases as his hands move into his cheeks, then quiets down when he moves them away. It's not harmful to him, and he seems to mentally be "off in space" while he's doing it and doesn't really realize it until we "call him back" to us. It's just beginning to be awkward for me in social settings, when all the kids are playing and he just breaks into his moves, but other kids haven't seemed to notice yet. I'm nervous/sad for him when and if it becomes something he can be made fun of for, but for now I just explain what it is to the other parents and move on from there.

Neil will be 15 months next week and is such a funny guy. He's slept through the night from just a few weeks old and continues to amaze me in that department. He prefers NOT to be rocked or cuddled to sleep, just wants set down so he can roll over and suck his thumb. He doesn't have many words yet- but jibber jabbers full sentences of nonsense-mostly that start with the consonant B. So he'll point at something and say "Ba ba BOWW! Ba ba BA ba Bow!" He also just started walking this week! This seemed late to me, but since he was cruising for so long, he's a solid walker and has yet to fall over recklessly or produce any bruises from his newfound skills.

His current favorites include:

-using utensils to feed himself

-pointing at pictures in books and gibbering 

-bubbles

-putting objects inside other objects, putting lids on things

-his friends Neema, Charlotte

-playing with anything Ian is playing with

We'll have Neil's 15 month appointment next week and will report back with his height and weight and all. For a NICU guy who started small, he's been doing just fine. 

Thanks for enjoying the journey with us!

LJ

Ian turns 2!

Wow. What happened to the months of March and April? I mean seriously, where did the time go? You think that having been on bed rest, I would have every moment spent on my couch or immobile etched in my brain, but somehow the month of May has crept up on me. SO many things to tell- like an amazing birth story, and how the entire first month has gone with my newborn, but speaking of May- guess who's having a birthday?

Ian turned 2 this week!
Here's a snap shot of where he's at these days, so that I can always look back here and remember.
-Height is 33 inches (25%) . Weight is  25 pounds (also 25th percentile) .
-Finally has a nice head of hair (took till 16 months to grow!!)
-Is getting his bottom two 2yr molars in right now.
-Knows his colors and some shapes.
-Can count to 20, although most of the teens sound like the same number...
-Knows all his letters, either inside the alphabet song or individually when seen, also knows what sounds they make.
-Cannot currently open doors that are closed or jump with both feet off the ground
-Is potty trained, as in wears underwear all day and has no pee accidents (a diaper at night), but he will never tell you he needs to go potty, he will just go when you tell him to, which seems to be working just fine.
-Loves Angry Birds more than anything (as in, the app on the ipad, the puzzles, the coloring books, the band aides, the plush toys, etc) How our house became over run with Angry Birds, I'll never know...
-Also loves Sesame Street and Thomas the Train, blowing bubbles, being next to Neil ( he always wants him next to him; in the bed, in the car, in the stroller, etc), playing t-ball and basketball, taking baths, spending time with all the grandparents and aunts and uncles, playing guitar or bass or drums and this kid loves to dance!

36 week update :)

Ian at Skyline with friends

4 days of hospital bed rest 

Home bed rest

My friend and hairdresser Emily made a house call! 

She cut 4 inches off and did some nice highlights and lowlights plus

my eyebrows, all from the comfort of my own bathroom!

Ian and his cousin Charlie, enjoying time with Poppy

Ian reading to his angry birds

Day 16 of complete bed rest! My heart goes out to all the mommas who have had to endure much worse, but boy, I did not see these days coming. It's been such a beautiful time to watch community rally around me, although it's much harder to accept the generosity of people than I imagined it would be. Seriously- people have done my laundry, dishes, vacuuming, mopping, setting up the nursery, cleaned my bathrooms, brought me food, just come to visit- and one friend even completely cleaned out and organized my walk in closet! I'm so thankful that I have still been able to attend meetings and administrate some things from the couch (thanks FaceTime!), but in some ways, it feels like life has just stopped. Like, I knew once baby came, I wouldn't go out for a few weeks and I would heal and rest and find our life's new rhythm, but adding so many extra weeks of isolation has made it way more emotionally draining for me.  I know, I know- who doesn't kinda dream of a few days where their only task in life is to stay laying down? First off, I'm not sick and I'm not active, so I find that if I nap during the day at all, I have a terrible time sleeping at night. I wish I could like, bank the hours of sleep for next month, but it just doesn't work that way. Second, lots of these days, Ian is around me in the living room, wanting me to play, crying and wanting mommy hugs, or needing something from mommy that I just cannot get up and give him. This also means I don't watch any movies or tv because we try to limit media around Ian at his young age.... so I'm left just laying around, trying NOT to only be counting down the seconds left until this little guy arrives!

How far along?  36weeks + 2 days

Maternity clothes? Almost sad to see them go soon. Being on bed rest means I rarely put real clothes on...

Weight Gain? +27 pounds 

Stretch Marks? nope

Sleep? Wake up at 2am and 6am every night to take the meds I'm on the stop contractions. 

Movement? Yes. Making sure I continue to feel him as we get closer each day.

What I Miss? Being able to think about things other than this pregnancy. I'm totally nesting, but only in my head because I'm not supposed to get up! I've seen plenty of women get the itch and just get antsy at the end of their pregnancies, but I'm thinking it's got to be worse for someone who is forced to just sit and not move. Reading my bible and playing music has really help alleviate some of this mental/emotion stress I've been placing on myself.  

Symptoms? Lots of contractions, pressure, and an overall feeling of HE's COMING IN 5 DAYS!!!

Food cravings? None! I've been treated to so many meals by so many friends, I'm having trouble being able to dream up what I'd like them to bring.

Food aversions? None.

Best thing this week? Getting some time with my hubby to just be honest and real about how I'm feeling. AND getting to step into a 22 month mission with my church. Even though I couldn't attend our big commissioning service, our online campus made me feel like a part of it all.

How Ian's doing with everything? He's got a count down on the wall, counting down the days to Neil's arrival. He understands as best as we can tell, that a baby is in Mommy's belly and will be coming home soon.

What I’m Looking Forward to? Meeting this lil troublemaker. He's already stolen my heart, and I haven't even met eyes with him yet.

Weekly Wisdom? I am NOT in control. See, I'd really hoped for an all natural birth. And when I found out that I definitely needed a c-section, I worked through it and totally embraced it, but then got a little too overzealous about it. I wanted to take control, to really make this "my birth story". So I researched, I studied, and I wrote a fabulous birth plan. But it turns out when you're high risk for multiple reasons, and you have an outstanding doc who's considered the best in the area, sometimes you just can't have what you want- you get what you need. So even though I don't know everything that will happen next week when they cut me open and my lil baby officially joins the human race, I am no longer clutching to the things I think "should" happen or the things that I wanted to demand simply to feel more in control- I'm just letting go. I know the God in whom I trust, I know I have nothing to fear, and I know everything will be alright!

Milestones? I'm practically there!!! 

Next Appointment? NONE!!! The next time I see my doc, he'll be slicing me open!

We are ready for you baby Neil! 

See you all soon- as a family of 4. We'll take all the prayers and encouragements you have for us!

L J

34 weeks and Counting Down the Days....

Well Well Well 2nd pregnancy. Oh the surprises you have for me. People say no two pregnancies are the same, so I guess my body is just proving that to me.
Here's my normal update, and then I can elaborate on what this week has been like.

How far along? 34 weeks + 3 days (because each specific day really counts now)

Maternity clothes? All the time. And the more pajama like they are, the better.

Weight Gain?  + 23 pounds so no real weight gain in the past month...

Stretch Marks? nope

Sleep? I've had a terrible cold for 2 weeks now with scratchy and burning throat, deep cough, red eyes with some gross eye boogies, and just a general appearance like I've been hit by a mac truck. Needless to say, sleep has been very hard to come by. Even for James, who says I snore when I'm sick :(

Movement? Yes, little Neil moves a lot, which I love and is very reassuring. I remember once Ian was born, it was a little sad that my belly was so still... so empty. Took some getting used to again.

What I Miss? Being able to nest and prepare. I will elaborate more below these questions, but I am now on complete bedrest until baby arrives, so I'm gonna say I miss pretty much everything.

Symptoms? Well, there's no doubt I'm pregnant, but this week's symptoms have included bleeding and cramping. No fun.

Food cravings? Having this cold has kept me from being able to smell and taste things for the last few weeks, so no real cravings. But as I'm on bedrest and people ask what they can bring me while I am in the hospital, I just keep mixing it up with my normal favorites and they've been so delicious. Thanks to everyone who's visited, but you get an extra gold star for bringing food (or flowers).

Food aversions? None in specific. But sometimes lifting the little hospital tray is disappointing and I just can't eat anything.

Best thing this week? Getting to spend time with my mom. Even though she's only come to visit for about an hour each day (she's on Ian duty), my mom's really been in this with me in the past couple of days and I feel like we're really bonding.

How Ian's doing with everything?  I haven't been away from Ian like this ever. I mean, he's done weekends away with grandparents, but this feels just so weird. We've had to have someone with him 24/7, as James continues to work, serve at church in prior commitments, and try to care for me as well. So while James sees Ian some, we've been creating a schedule of caregivers. It's so hard to know how long to keep scheduling as well. Is it a few more days? Weeks? We'll still need help after baby comes too.... soo... But Ian is doing great. 

What I’m Looking Forward to? Meeting Neil. At this point, some of the joys of nesting and preparing have vanished, but I am trying to soak up this bed rest time and see what Jesus may have for me in the quiet moments..

Weekly Wisdom? Go with your instincts. For some reason, I began very slowly packing a hospital bag a few weeks ago. Even though most folks wait till much closer, I just felt a nudge to get things together. I even put my shampoo and conditioner into little travel bottles, added in some of my favorite comfy clothes, and tried to think through other items I might need. Turns out, when I needed the bag quickly- it was there ready for me. I'm so glad I didn't wait or think it was too early to get stuff together.

Milestones? Neil is still cooking. That's milestone enough for me. We did have to go ahead and schedule the c-section at my last apt, so my April baby will officially be a March baby. Now we wait and see if he can wait until his scehduled date, or if he'll demand to be out sooner.

Next Appointment? Being in the hospital currently, every day feels like an appointment! But my next one in his office is scheduled for March 18th.

Sooo... Long story short- I had my OB appointment Monday and they confirmed I definitely need a c-section. We scheduled it and my heart was really ok with it. Now we had a clock, a countdown of sorts, and I had 21 days to get prepared for baby. And then the next morning I wake up bleeding and call my dr, who sends me to get checked out. I spent 4 days in the hospital, and then was released home to be on complete bed rest- only allowed up to use the bathroom and shower, and can sit up during meals. NOT the way I envisioned my month of March for sure. What's hard is that I really feel fine, so watching everyone cook and clean for me is a challenge. Plus, Ian is all around me at home, so I'm not actually free to watch Netflix or read books as people have suggested. BUT I do understand it could be years before I ever get time to put my feet up and really rest, so I'm trying to find those moments and soak them up as best I can. My number one job at this point is to keep baking this baby, one more day at a time.
Any of you ever been on bed rest and have any tips or pointers?

L J

31 Weeks Update

Wow. Two Saturdays ago, my hubby and I were delighted for a day as a family. We met some relatives for breakfast, then had plans to go to the mall together and get some stuff done around the house. Little did I know what would be waiting for me when we stopped back home. I literally walked into my own home and there was a surprise shower being thrown in my honor! I was 100% surprised, not even a hint of anything had ever occurred to me. Most folks don't have a shower for second baby, especially so close together and same gender, so I never thought a thing about not having one. It was an intimate gathering, but very thought out and beautiful. I am so glad to have the memories we made there, and feel like Neil has been honored and that folks are excited to meet him. Oh how I long to see his little face and hear his cries and just get to know him and show him how loved he is.

And my pregnancy update....

How far along? 31 weeks

Maternity clothes? Got a few new tops last week on sale from Old Navy. It's hard to try to be cute and comfy without spending money on clothes you can only wear for a short time.

Weight Gain?  + 23 pounds... woah nelly. 

Stretch Marks? nope

Sleep? Wake up a few times each night. My limbs fall asleep often. I can't really get comfortable. Also, due to a storm, a weird travel/nap schedule one day, and other factors, I've been up with Ian a lot in the night recently too.

Movement? I pretty much feel like he's trying to bust right out of me. He is SUCH a mover. Literally, at my last ultrasound I asked if he was still breech. She said "nope, look right there, he's head down". Then she moved the wand and measured another part of him and we all watched as he flipped right that moment back to being breech. The tech said she had never seen that happen so quickly, right in front of us, this far along. Oh well, we'll call him "Flipper".

What I Miss? Being able to bend over. When I drop something, I instinctively reach down to get it, only realizing about half way down that I'm being blocked by this belly. Then I strike all kinds of silly poses and squats trying to reach whatever it is. Only once last week did I just look at the item (a sweater Ian had thrown on the floor at Kohls) and said to myself "I'm pregnant, someone else will pick that up". Ya gotta just let it go sometimes.... 

Symptoms? I don't want to start waddling just yet, but sometimes I feel like I'm going to just tip over with all this extra weight in the front.

Food cravings? FROZEN COKE!!! I mean, I need to install an Iccee machine with the coke flavor up in here. Currently, I just keep a cup of coke freezing in the fridge often. It's the only caffeine I have, and I only have it probably every other day.... but boy, I just crave it. Frozen Lemonade and Root Beer Floats are tasty too... And now I'm thirsty.

Food aversions? None.

Best thing this week? Besides the surprise shower.... I got in Neil's bedsheets and almost have his nursery completed. I'll post pics when it's ready. Nothing too fancy or wild, but just enough difference from Ian's nursery so that this little guy can feel special too. Don't want him developing that middle child syndrome already.

How Ian's doing with everything? Talks to my belly more and more each day. He knows which room is Neil's and we talk with him about what he will teach Neil and what babies are like.

What I’m Looking Forward to? We are going to try to plan a "Babymoon" here in the next couple of weeks. I think we will just be spending one evening at a hotel, with Ian too, visiting friends and swimming in the hotel pool. 

Weekly Wisdom? My children are NOT my everything. They are certainly gifts from God, they are certainly the apple of my eye and such a delight to watch grow and learn and love on. I was so made to be a mom, and raising a family is one of the most important things I may ever do. BUT my children are not meant to fulfill me completely, they're not meant to be the only thing I can talk about, the only thing my brain thinks about. I did not vow to my husband "till kids do us part", so keeping my marriage vows of loving him and serving him and honoring him are still very important and I must make the effort to pick showing him my love- even though with kiddos it has become more difficult.  I believe God has great plans for my life, beyond what I can even hope for or imagine, and I must be listening close to Jesus to know each next right step on this path. 

Milestones? I did pass my 3hr glucose test so yippee for that. I feel more confident with every day that passes that the little guy is happy and healthy and am at peace with however my birth story plays out.

Next Appointment? March 10th I have another ultrasound. If placenta hasn't moved by then, we will schedule a c-section in the books, even though we may scan again just before the section to see if maybe it had moved at that time. So Neil's birthday could be that first week of April.... Crazy!!! Still praying that the placenta moves and I get to "enjoy" a natural labor whenever this guy sees fit to arrive, but I'm definitely open for however the plan is supposed to unfold.

Ian preparing Daddy's Valentine's surprise....

There may be something in the water at church

At my favorite restaurant, celebrating Poppy turning 60!

I will focus on another potty training update soon :) Have a terrific week!

Potty Training, Part 2

So yeah, that nap I laid him down for last Saturday- he woke up completely soaked. I had laid towels down on his bed and had a complete change of clothes ready, so just like that, we changed and went on with the day. The afternoon seemed more difficult- lots of little piddles through underwear while running to the potty.

Over the course of the next few days, our schedule changed and we were out of the house a lot more than I planned on. I ended up bringing diapers with us and using them- just to avoid the hassle. I'm not quite confident that the car seat will stay dry on the way to the library, not quite ready to let the nursery ladies suffer at church because he won't tell anyone but me when he has to go.

So today, 6 days after our first big day- we are again going completely diaper free and it seems to be clicking better than day 1.  Ian is still in his 1st pair of underwear for the day, and hasn't had an accident  yet (3 hours strong!) He has sat on the potty twice today with no results. So that's- oh wait- he's yelling pee pee!
Ok- had a success on the potty!!! And he clapped for himself and said "yay" about a million times! ha ha...

Things I've learned so far:

1) Potty training is what you make of it. If you wanna be a tyrant for a full week and boss your kiddo around and be totally frustrated and upset with accidents- you totally can! And if you wanna be gentle and see every accident as a learning opportunity and have fun- you can too! I've got nothing at stake here, so we're having fun picking out underwear each day, doing sign language for potty words, and learning more about each other as we go along. If I hated this process, I'd just stop and wait till later.

2) Underwear is key for us. Lots of people say go completely pantless, and I will say, we have had lots of times where we do. BUT since we are going diaper free all day long, turns out, underwear catches a lot of things. AKA- the Big Bird undies took the hit when Ian looked up worried from his play kitchen saying "uh oh mommy, poo poo". When I scooped him up and took him to the bathroom- turns out my black bean soup had not sat so well in his tummy.... I'll spare the rest of the details on that. BUT since we cloth diaper, I was able to just dump the contents of Big Bird into the toilet, rinse him out, and toss him into our dirty cloth diaper pail. Big Bird came out clean the next day, and thankfully, the play kitchen was not harmed a bit from Ian's accident. I hate to picture what might have been without the underwear on.......The undies also seem to let Ian really feel that he is wet, I can see that he is wet or currently wetting, and we still have time to make it to the potty without making a mess everywhere!

3) I really love my boy. Watching the faces this kiddo makes while on the potty, watching him learn how to navigate his step stool up to the big potty, seeing him learn from his potty mistakes- these moments with him are priceless. I'm so lucky to get to parent this particular child, and I can't wait to navigate through more of these milestones and learn what's really going on in his little brain and little body.

Sorry no pics today. I'll get some good ones this week for my next post. But for now, I'm back to the trenches :) Hope you're enjoying the updates!