Feeling Good and Ian's Cabinet Organization

I haven't been blogging/talking much about Dermatomyositis lately. It's because I'm on another round of steroids. As much as I hate them for their side effects/taste/cost/etc, I forget I am sick when I am on them. I feel amazing- energized and strong. I look amazing- complexion clearer and no swelling or itchy rash. When I am on a quick taper, I feel like the real me. I'm not worried about the disease and I can focus on my family. We go to the park, we eat out, we enjoy the time we spend together. My arms aren't sore from carrying Ian around, my legs aren't tired from going up and down the stairs a few times.   I don't constantly want to nap and laze around.

Trouble is, the cost of my meds just went up. Here's the deal- The pharmacy used to pay 100dollars for the bottle of pills... so that meant I payed 70. When I went to pick them up this time, they said that they now pay 1,000 dollars for that same bottle of pills, and I would need to pay 700$!!!!!
What?     WHAT?????  
 My husband was able to bargain with them because they didn't let us know before they had filled the prescription, but the next round I take will be worth its weight in gold apparently. Sigh. The real issue is that I take a special steroid because I am still breast feeding my son. Only one company makes this drug, so that's why they can pull a monopoly on it and make me pay out the wazooo for it. So my other option is to begin to wean my son earlier than maybe I would have hoped or that would come natural for us, just so I can save the money for my meds. Which is more selfish? Which is the lesser of the two evils? I still don't know how it will turn out, but I'm happy I don't have to make that decision today.

As for my Paleo diet, I think I made it 45 days straight with no cheating. Not a single deviation from  very strict, clean eating. Then I spent a few days allowing a few things I hadn't before, like corn and rice flour products. Most days I've been trying to eat a Paleo breakfast and lunch, but maybe branch out a little for dinner. The diet became a little obsessive for me, and it really made our grocery bills skyrocket for NOT giving me the anti-inflammatory, go-into-remission results I was looking for. The diet did teach me lots of self control, and I am happy to report that I have only gained 1 pound back of the 11 I lost. My goal is to continue to eat smart for my body. When I choose gluten free and dairy free options, I do really feel a difference, so I will try to make those choices more often.

In other news, I'm still on an organizing kick and trying to knock out at least one huge project a week. If everything in your house has a place, it's so easy to put it back together and keep it clean on a daily basis. Today's project was Ian's cabinet. It's a cabinet to the right of the oven, where I'd been keeping Ian's bottles, medicines, breast pump accessories, and random things. Plus some kitchen items somehow wound up down there too. Now that Ian needs less bottles and more sippy cups, I thought I should update the cabinet and make it more functional. Here's how it turned out.

Nothing crazy about this cabinet, but it was one of those places where I would literally just open to door and throw something towards the back, hoping it wouldn't fall back out.

Nothing snazzy looking, but in the tupperware on the left are clean bibs. The tupperware on the right contains all of the little containers that hold Ian's baby food when I make it with the Baby Bullet. They used to just clutter the counter once they were clean but waiting for food. In the cinnamon roll crunch box, you can see my saran wrap, parchment paper, aluminum foil, and wax paper. They all fit in there perfectly! Now maybe I should wrap that box to make it look a little cuter. And then on the top shelf I have some sterilizer bags, a pack of boogie wipes, and a row of sippy cups. I removed all of the medicine that was in this cabinet and now store it with our adult medicines, up high on a shelf in a closet. I love that everything in this cabinet is kid friendly, so I can let Ian destroy it some days and it's fun for him and a place I no longer have to worry about it. Again, I know this project looks boring and lame, but this cabinet was bothersome and now is functional. What projects have you been putting off that might make things easier for you?

Out and About

Ian and I out to lunch at Cracker Barrel after church Sunday. Loved getting to hang out with some others from Quest Frankfort!

Ian and I spending some time at the park with the Drurys. 

Ian loved swinging and trying to eat the mulch. What a cutie!

Voices

Tell me this: Who are the voices that really matter in your life? Like, the people you can't wait to share any good news with? Or the people who's opinion really matters to you? Who do you call when you need an encouraging word? Or whose criticism can cut to your core?
I've spent the weekend trying to determine who the voices are in my life that speak the loudest, and how those voices gained such power in my life in the first place.

It's obvious that I really value what my husband has to say about me. I want him to think I'm smart/pretty/helpful.  It matters a lot that my mom thinks I'm capable. I want her to be proud of me, to think I'm making good decisions and working hard for my family. I want my friends to think I'm an amazing mom- able to juggle it all with grace and calm; I want my bosses and leaders to think I'm valuable- smart, dependable, needed. I want, I want, I want so much to feel loved, special, captivating, unique.

But what happens if these voices were to fade away? If my friends were no longer there for me, if my family couldn't affirm me in the way I desire? Would I still be worth it? Would I still be enough?

Yes. Yes I would be more than enough. Who I am is not defined by what others have to say about me, what I think others are thinking about me.

Here's what God says is true about me:

"Don't be afraid, for you are deeply loved by God. Be at peace; take heart and be strong!"
Daniel 10:19

"The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren't small, but you are living them in a small way. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!"
2 Corinthians 6:12-13

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me- watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly"
Matthew 11:28-30

I'm so thankful that Jesus' voice is the only one that actually matters. That I don't have to believe any lies the enemy may try to speak over me. If you think you're ugly, you're worthless, you're undeserving, you're stupid, you don't measure up- ask yourself where you got that idea from. You can't possibly be all things to all people. You aren't meant to carry the burden of striving and straining for things far beyond your reach. Ask Jesus who HE made you to be, what HE wants you to do- and let those other voices be silenced.

A weekend to myself :)

Last weekend, our church message was on the topic of marriage. The sermon was powerful, hearts were stirred, and my husband was out of town. At first I felt a little sad that he would be gone, but it actually all worked out for the better as he was loving me by leaving.  He gave me the gift of a weekend in our home, with no extra responsibilities outside of my worship team commitment, and told me to get extra sleep-to go out- to do whatever I wanted! He took the baby to his parents and got to relax a bit himself while allowing me time to breathe and be restored.

So what did I do with all that time on my hands?

1) I spent time in prayer! Man, how easy it is to talk to Jesus! What a faithful companion and listening ear- and how much sweeter my time could be because there were fewer distractions around. Taking time to just be still, to listen, to worship... I felt so filled up. 

2) I went out with girlfriends! 4 of us got to be child free and had a night out at the Melting Pot. We stayed way later than we should have and just got to connect and love on each other! Life is so much sweeter in community! If you don't have a few pals you can talk with, hang out around, or call to have encourage you- talk to me! I'd love to hook you up with some of my friends and let you feel the love of true friendship.

3) I got crafty! I have just started using a Cricut Expression 2 (super fancy paper cutter) so I made my first card. It was trickier to use than I imagined, so I'm still only at one cute care made, but I got to play around with it and dream up the dinosaur invites that will be going out soon for Ian's first birthday!

4) I got some sleep! I went to bed at 12 midnight and had to be up at 6:30 the next morning for church, BUT I SLEPT from 12- 6:30!!!! That's a miracle for a momma like me ( with a young baby and on meds that make sleep impossible!)

And don't you know, once my man can back into town, we got to discuss the marriage message, do the "homework" that Pastor gave, and this week has been incredible for us! We are loudly speaking each other's love languages, taking time to really connect, and just having a blast! Having a "good" marriage sometimes just isn't good enough when it can be great... THRIVING even! Love it!

Kitchen Pantry Cleanout

Anyone who watches kids or stays home with them knows that lots of times, the hours dwindle away and even a short list of to-dos often times goes uncompleted. Between hungry babies, crying babies, pooping babies, and very wiggly babies that must put every single thing they find directly in their mouthes- it can be hard to get a single task done without a good plan.

I do my planning for the week each Sunday night, after lifegroup and once Ian has gone to bed. I sit down and plan out the meals for the week, I write down a few major and minor tasks I'd like to complete, and I check our schedule for play dates, appointments, visitors, etc. Taking just an hour each Sunday evening helps me feel in control of the week, while of course I allow things to ebb and flow as needed for the sanity of everyone involved. I learned this Sunday night trick when I began managing my first retail store, years ago, and knew I needed to keep lots of people and meetings and deadlines organized and just keeping things floating around in my head wasn't cutting it. I invested in a Franklin Covey planner- still my favorite when it comes to paper planners. I took that thing with me everywhere and even designed it online so that each week had special quotes that were important to me and personal pictures too. It was a few years before I finally bought my first iPhone ( yes, I was behind the times, I know) and then began using iCal, Reminders, and Evernote to keep up with my busy schedule. 

I currently use lots of different meal planning websites and read organizational blogs to keep me fresh and motivated in my current role as a stay at home mom- maybe I will do another day's blog and get more specific sometime soon if that would benefit any of you out there.But for today- I wanted to share a little challenge I threw out to a few of my gal pals the other day.

The challenge was simple- No phone, no internet, no technology, and NO SITTING DOWN for two hours! It's amazing how many texts, calls, tweets, and interruptions can occur in such a short time window, and how we can become so easily distracted. I know for me personally, if I don't put my phone away and purposefully focus on my kid and my plans for the day- the entire day will go missing!
So from 5-7 that day, I challenged myself and a few others to see if we could complete a quick project when we really put our minds to it. One friend went outside to rake and clean up her yard, one friend focused on laundry and cleaning some common areas in her home. She even got her son involved and made it fun for him too! I focused on my kitchen and cleaning out my pantry. I can show you that this little challenge ended with much success! Here are the pics to prove it!

Here's my pantry when I began. I cleaned it out completely about 5 months ago, so nothing too scary in here. I did find some past date items and something gooey on the middle shelf.

Just an FYI- I get peanut butter for free (Smucker's jelly too) . But this may be a little too much. Anyone needing a jar?

3 bags of the same flavor of Doritos? Plus look at some of these bags towards the left- the one bag had only two pretzel rods left! Not worth the space on the shelf if you ask me. 

My helper. I just let him crawl around in all the fun. He really got a kick out of rolling all the peanut butter and jelly jars across the room. And playing with the floor mat. And just being silly:) What a cutie!

And here's the finished product! Got rid of yucky stuff, found a better way to organize things, and now I once again know every item I have ( so I know not to buy tomato paste for a few more weeks!! ha )

The weather is amazing here, so I'm off to take the dog for a walk (with a hat on and long sleeves to avoid Mr. Sun so I don't rash up!) James and Ian are out of town for the weekend and I don't even know what to do with myself! Crazy! Hope you get to enjoy your weekend too!

Itchy itchy

Well, based on my absence, you can guess it's been a tough week around here. 3 days ago I woke up with a hot, burning sensation on my back. Turns out I had an entirely new rash, hot to the touch and scaly, just appear- for no apparent reason- on my back. Of course it itches like crazy, but I can't scratch ( because it's bad for it AND I can't reach). My eyelids have also been puffy and sore and itchy.
Ugh, even as I type this, I'm guessing you all may be grossed out reading about it. It's not pretty...  But it's real. Again, I'm blogging for me to keep a reminder of how all this progresses as much as I am to keep you all in the loop, so bear with me through the ugly parts.

In other news, Ian's birthday party is a little more than a month away, so I'm starting to toss around ideas for invitations, decorations, and so on. Of course it will be dinosaur themed ( that's basically his life's theme until he's old enough to say otherwise) and I'm praying for great weather so we can get some nice outdoor photos. Does it make me a bad mom that we've not had any professional photos taken since his birth? Yeah, I'm working on that.

My sister made it back to the States safely after a two month romp through Brazil and Argentina. She never ceases to find herself in the middle of amazing adventures and I admire her spirit of courage. She and my mom will be coming to visit Monday, as the following week she heads back to Japan for good. :( I love her and phone calls with her would be awesome if not for that stupid time difference!!! But hopefully she and I will continue to stay in touch.

Sounds like my little guy is ready for his nap. I'm gonna try to catch some shut eye with him as I only got 3 hrs of sleep last night. (Baby wakes, I help him back to sleep, steroids keep me wide awake, 3 hrs later I fall asleep, 20 minutes later baby is screaming again, yeah...)

Hope you all are having a terrific Friday! I'm so excited to be serving this weekend at our Lexington Campus. I'm usually out in Frankfort so this will be a great time to connect with some of the music team that I rarely see. Check out QuestCommunity.com at 5:55pm on Saturday, or 9:30am or 11:30am on Sunday!

Terri's 60th Birthday Party

This weekend we made a very quick trip up to Cincinnati. Loved hanging out with my younger brother and sister - my older brother didn't show up and my older sister is still in Argentina till next week. Sunday afternoon we spent the day at Aunt Terri's birthday party with everyone. James and I also took advantage of Gammi and Poppy time and went to see Silver Linings Playbook and did some window shopping and Ikea idea gathering while there too.

Ian and his Gammi 

Me and my brother, Ethan

It was a tough weekend for me physically. For the past few days, my rashes have been getting worse aka itchier, redder, and just plain annoying. My eyelids are puffy and purple, my hands are cracked and feel like they are covered with a million little paper cuts. I was just frustrated by it all and made the conscience decision to eat off of the Paleo diet plan. For SEVEN WEEKS I did the absolute best I could to follow the diet's strict rules. I lost a total of 11 pounds and was skinny...... Maybe too skinny. I started feeling hungry a lot and had to think about food quite often. I felt that there were times I was depriving myself, and it felt a little obsessive. Now this diet was always about health and healing, but it began to alter other things in my life- like me not being able to eat a single thing at a birthday party buffet lunch or people not wanting to eat around me for fear of making me feel bad. So currently I have decided that I will continue to eat "pretty Paleo". Like last night, I made a complete yummy Paleo meal, but then the brother in law came over and we ate cake for his birthday. Just a small slice for me, no going crazy ( I don't think my gut could handle that) but I did celebrate, have a piece, and just let go.

Facebook, blogging, television, money, social engagements, food-  NONE of these should ever be the main thing my life seems to revolve around.

Still going

Still going strong on this Paleo diet.
Still trying to exercise a bit and not over do it.
Still praying for healing and contentment no matter how I feel.

But today has been a tough one already. I can't control when I scratch at my rash in my sleep, so sometimes I find sores/scabs I didn't know about the next morning, like this morning. The rash on my hands has also gotten worse, so not only can you see redness and bumps all over my hands, they also hurt like arthritis and also to the touch like bruises. The same goes for the rash on my eyelids, which makes opening my eyes wide a little uncomfortable and it's just SO ITCHYYYYYYYYY!!!

I haven't quite achieved the magic 6 weeks on this diet - the time most people feel like their recovery massively improved.... So I'm hanging in at least until then. James suggested maybe I do another round of steroids sooner than I anticipated. Sigh. Just a bummer of a morning around here.

But I try to take hope...


Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.