Perseverance

So I have been on a mission for healing for 20 days now. That means that 20 days ago I began a round of steroids, in hopes to kick this disease back into remission.12 days ago I started a work out routine, ensuring some sort of strength or cardio each day, mainly using Jillian Michael's 30 day shred or getting my heart rate up during my daily cleaning. 10 days ago I began eating a Paleo diet, the diet of the caveman that is said to help people reduce or eliminate inflammation issues completely.7 days ago I began a woman's bible study, challenging me to dig deeper into God's word and meditate on his goodness and peace.

 And tomorrow, my steroids end and it's a wait and see.

Each time recently that a treatment has ended, it's been about 4 days till I see symptoms creep up again. At best, I put a little makeup over the rash and continue on my day. At worst, my spirit is crushed, my muscles ache, and my heart once again wrestles with the "why mes" and the "how long oh Lords".

"And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope;" Romans 5:3&4


I have hope for the days ahead. Even if the disease flares, even more painful than before, Jesus is doing great work in my heart to keep my eyes fixed on him. Though it hurts,  deep down I desire to have my faith tested, so that I can see where any gaps in my heart might be.

Thanks for all of your support and encouragement as I walk through this debilitating illness, while trying to live without holding back.